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Awful First Date Ideas

I get it, we all make awful decisions when we’re stressed and there’s few things as stressful as taking someone on a date. You want this person to like you, and you also want them to think you’re original and cute and creative. Don’t let your creativity go as far as these date ideas!

Cemetery

Sure, it might be nice and quiet and you won’t be bothered by anyone. However, if you’re out for a quiet date – go to the park. There’s no reason to freak out your potential significant other with thoughts of their unavoidable death.

Massage

You might think you’ll alleviate the tension with a nice neck-rub and maybe even see your date with less clothes on, but lying silently while strangers touch you isn’t a comfortable first-date activity. Save it for when you’re married and constantly stressed.

McDonalds

Nobody wants to feel like they’re on a cheap date. Throwing money left and right isn’t the key to a lasting relationship, but even the slightest bit of “classy” and “fancy” is required to make a positive first impression. You can get some fries later, but don’t make it the main event.

Club

First dates are for getting to know each other in an intimate environment. Even if you are friends and already know each other well, the club is not an appropriate place to have conversations and play footsie. Dancing is a great idea, but maybe go to a salsa or jazz club instead?

Literally Anything that Involves Messy Food

Save the BBQ, pizza, burgers, chicken wings, and pasta for the fifth date and go for something that can be eaten with a fork and knife without making a mess. Not only is this a good way to avoid embarrassing yourself, it’ll also help your partner feel more comfortable.

Competitive Sport

Don’t make your date feel like they have to compete with you. Nothing good can possibly come of this. Best case scenario – you find out they are a sore loser. Worst case scenario is that the date will start with sports and end in the emergency room at your local hospital.

Meeting the Parents

First dates are stressful enough, don’t add meeting the mother to the mix. Your date’s mom might be the life of the party, be cool, be friendly, but be reserved. And, like, if the first date goes well, you can begin opening up to your “new mom”.

Double-Date

Giving your full attention to one person is difficult. Having good conversations with a person you don’t know is difficult. Now, imagine tripling the amount of stress by adding two more people to the equation! Your friends could be cool, but your date is here to be with you and only you.

The Wild

You might notice that the key to a first date seems to be an intimate surrounding that helps you pay attention to your date, talk to them, and spend quality time with them. However, the true key is comfort, and a camping trip in the woods doesn’t qualify. You’d be surprised how many people think this is a good idea, but trust me – it isn’t.

Your Favorite Dive Bar

Drinks are a conversational lubricant. They make forming genuine connections between people easier, destroying walls of shyness and inhibition and helping conversations flow smoothly. However there’s a difference between going to a nice bar and going to your local dive bar where the music is bad, the floor is sticky, and the lighting is awful.